The writing of Matt Alexander is one of my recent discoveries (see my post, Some interesting resources I discovered in 2012, for other worthwhile links), and I’m glad I added him to my feeds because, from what I’ve read so far, he usually brings fresh, thought-provoking perspectives to the debate. Which is definitely a good thing in the current tech-oriented writing panorama, crowded with people who don’t have much to say, really.

In a recent post, We’re Boring, They’re Sexting, Alexander certainly manages to bring a different perspective, and the result is without doubt provoking, but there are certain passages that strike me as a bit superficial and perhaps too indulgent in their generalisations.

What is Alexander’s piece about? He explains:

Several weeks ago, Josh Miller wrote a fascinating article about digital trends as seen through the eyes of his fifteen-year-old sister. Offering insight into the behavioral traits of a generation born into a digitally-interconnected world, Miller’s findings unsurprisingly prompted a vast amount of commentary and discussion. 

If you haven’t read the article by Josh Miller mentioned above, you should. It’s an interesting glimpse into how teenagers view and use many social products and services we all use (Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Snapchat, etc.) and you’ll probably be surprised, as Miller was, by the differences between your way and their way of using those products and services.

Many people were indeed surprised, as Alexander points out:

Funnily enough, the response was almost unilaterally dismissive. Although people certainly recognized the viability of Miller’s testimony, there was a distinct undertone of incredulity and doubt. Miller and his peers framed the findings as though various properties like Instagram and Tumblr were being misused by young people — that these platforms were built for altogether different purposes and young people simply haven’t yet grasped these fundamental truths.

The wrong attitude here, in my opinion, is to introduce judgment towards either party. I won’t deny I have been criticising how people (ab)use technology nowadays, and I still can’t stand how Facebook has basically commandeered many people’s social behaviour. But at the end of the day, my stance is fundamentally live and let live, that is, everybody is free to use, misuse, abuse these tools (toys?) the way they see fit. I usually react when someone starts telling me their way of using a tool is the right one or the best. We’re all different people, with different histories and different approaches towards today’s hyper-connected life and online products and services. I may criticise and offer my opinion, but ultimately everyone makes their choices and if they’re fine with them, so be it. Who am I to judge?

At this point in his piece, Alexander starts criticising those who have criticised the teenagers in Josh Miller’s article. But in defending the teenagers, Alexander gets as judgemental as those who dismissed the teenagers’ way of using those social tools. 

Sitting on the front porch of our quaint weblogs and latte-art-filled Instagram accounts, we’re collectively yelling at the kids playing in the street using these platforms in newer, happier, and increasingly care-free ways. These kids have been born into a world of social networking and privacy concerns are literally the last things on their minds. They’re just looking for the next best way to chat, flirt, and sext their way into each other’s bedrooms, whilst we continue to perpetuate unwritten societal rules of etiquette for Twitter and Facebook.

You see, I’m not sure it’s correct to label the kids’ ways of using these platforms as newer, happier and care-free, because it’s like implying that thirty-somethings and forty-somethings (like me) use these same platforms in old, sad, and uninterestingly responsible ways. Some do, mind you, but I don’t think it’s really useful to put things this way. People of different ages and backgrounds use the same tools in different ways — that’s how I would frame the whole matter.

Alexander then writes:

It’ll become clear that, although many of us in this community are the architects of the Internet as we know it today, we fundamentally do not understand what we’ve created. We’ve grown apart from this thriving entity, our value systems rooted in an age unfettered by digital interactions.

So, we’ll continue to post thousands upon thousands of words about privacy and the deplorability of Facebook, whilst a younger generation, well-engrained into the fabric of an interconnected world, will continue to embrace brand new experiences befitting of the modern age in which we live.

I don’t think it’s a matter of ‘not understand[ing] what we’ve created’ because I think that many of us do indeed understand (how could we otherwise be early-adopting and forward-thinking, to use Alexander’s words). I believe that the only true mistake in all this is to start thinking in terms of My way is better than your way. I’m fine with teenagers using social media in a completely different way than I do, if that’s what makes them happy. At the same time, I don’t think it’s wrong to warn about the privacy issues and the deplorability of Facebook. It’s exactly like my parents (or older friends) giving me advice when I was a teenager. I was, in a sense, free to be irresponsible and care-free. My parents and my more experienced friends were simply trying to widen my perspective and offering different angles for my consideration. If your carelessness in using social media platforms may put you in harm’s way, I will warn you, and for doing so I certainly won’t feel ‘old’ or ‘boring’, and for doing so it’s not that I don’t understand or grok how you (teenager) use technology or social tools.

Alexander’s position in his article, from what I understand, seems to be all in favour of “the teenagers’ ways”, while we older guys just don’t get it:

It’s almost a shame, really. As an early-adopting herd of unbelievably intelligent people, we stifle our experiences out of a perceived ruleset of the digital world. Out of these societal norms we’ve created which are, in fact, utterly out of step with the society for which these tools and platforms are actually built.

From our ivory tower, we’ll dismiss change, whilst, from beneath, a new generation will use these apps and services as they were meant to be used: to enhance their tangible lives. They’ll find new ways to interact with people and to bring people closer together.

Like I said before, such statements are implying that we thirty- or forty-somethings are incapable of using those tools and platforms to enhance our tangible lives. I’m also not comfortable with that as they were meant to be used. Again, I don’t think Tumblr, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, etc. came with an instruction manual. The beauty of these things, in my opinion, lies exactly in all the different ways they can be used. Sometimes, while I search the Web, I encounter colourful tumblelogs which are the digital equivalent of the physical scrapbooks and diaries we kept when we were teenagers. The way some youth express themselves via their Tumblr or Instagram accounts is amazing… and completely different than how I use those tools to express myself. But that doesn’t mean that their way is better or more up-to-date than mine. Or that my way is better than theirs. We should celebrate differences, not be prescriptive at all costs (towards either method — there is no ‘better’ way).

At the moment, we in the technology community exist as a boring minority. We write about technologies and trends, but we stand in a sterilized environment at a complete disconnect from the reality of the changing world.

This is a rather unfair generalisation. I for one don’t recognise myself in this picture.

All we need to do is cast away these misperceived rules we’ve built for ourselves and feel free to just have a little fun with all that we’ve helped create.

So, don’t be boring. Your users, readers, and peers most certainly aren’t.

The presence of self-imposed rules — be they misperceived or not — and having a little fun etcetera, are not mutually exclusive. If my usage of social media apps and services is more restrained than the one of people half my age, it doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying it. It doesn’t mean I’m not ‘having a little fun’. If I shape my online presence in a certain (perhaps restrained) way, that doesn’t mean I’m uncomfortable with my online presence or that I’m not enjoying the social aspect of the online sphere. It’s simply my way of being and presenting my self. Perhaps I keep a ‘quaint weblog’, perhaps I’m old-school, perhaps I don’t post each iPhone snap I take during the day — so what? Does that make me boring? Does that make me uncool? Does it mean that I don’t ‘get’ how to be social today? I don’t think so.

I’ll say that again: we should celebrate differences, not be prescriptive at all costs towards a way or another. There simply isn’t a ‘better’ way to use these tools, services, apps and platforms.